I went to University.
From this point on the sun started rising for me but I didn’t know that. All I knew was that finally I reached the point in my life I always wanted – everybody left me alone. And actually I was kind of enjoying it but on the back of my mind I always had that urge to have someone really interested in me. Someone who would just accept me the way I was no questions asked.
There were adults, very serious people and no one bullied me just because no one was really interested in spending time on that. At this point I've got very clear goal for myself. I just wasn't real sure how I could get to this. I was able to earn master's degree and work afterwards. It was hard for me but I did it. Simple trip to the University by bus was a big deal for me. Because I needed to go to the bus stop, stay there waiting for the bus and then try to get the little place in the overcrowded bus. Often I preferred just walk home when no one was on my way and I could walk at my speed. I was getting very tired by the time I get home but at least I was only tired physically not mentally too. Every little thing for me always was a mini-task of optimization. I needed to think about things before I do it, about things you don't even know; like for example climbing the stairs, doing the dishes, writing notes. Writing something down (my handwriting is terrible and writing by hand is really difficult for me).
I was once again clumsy and bungler and very unpopular. But who cares? I was able to graduate and just live. Like a sleepwalker or something. My fatigue, my overall physical conditions were killing me then. But I kept going I didn’t know then that everything would pay back at the end and was like a train on the rails – you keep going just because they are there.
From this point on the sun started rising for me but I didn’t know that. All I knew was that finally I reached the point in my life I always wanted – everybody left me alone. And actually I was kind of enjoying it but on the back of my mind I always had that urge to have someone really interested in me. Someone who would just accept me the way I was no questions asked.
There were adults, very serious people and no one bullied me just because no one was really interested in spending time on that. At this point I've got very clear goal for myself. I just wasn't real sure how I could get to this. I was able to earn master's degree and work afterwards. It was hard for me but I did it. Simple trip to the University by bus was a big deal for me. Because I needed to go to the bus stop, stay there waiting for the bus and then try to get the little place in the overcrowded bus. Often I preferred just walk home when no one was on my way and I could walk at my speed. I was getting very tired by the time I get home but at least I was only tired physically not mentally too. Every little thing for me always was a mini-task of optimization. I needed to think about things before I do it, about things you don't even know; like for example climbing the stairs, doing the dishes, writing notes. Writing something down (my handwriting is terrible and writing by hand is really difficult for me).
I was once again clumsy and bungler and very unpopular. But who cares? I was able to graduate and just live. Like a sleepwalker or something. My fatigue, my overall physical conditions were killing me then. But I kept going I didn’t know then that everything would pay back at the end and was like a train on the rails – you keep going just because they are there.
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