So the next chapter

From the very childhood I was.............different. I wasn't able to do bicycle, play ball like all children do. Well, I did it somehow but so terribly bad that children in the neighborhood didn't want me in the game. And as a result almost always I was alone and I couldn't really say that to my parents because I was very ashamed. From the very beginning of our lives we usually taught be tough and strong and be able to protect ourselves somehow. That was something I physically couldn't do. But the thing was that I didn't know all it. I really thought that I was like everybody else, well, should have been anyway and so I ate myself up (yes it wasn't a reflection or something it was exactly eating up) for being clumsy and bungler. It was terrible.
I was bullied for that by everybody (at least by everybody who wasn't lazy enough to say bad words and do some violent things to me). I survived the childhood somehow just to become bullied teen. I really hated my schooldays. Just to earn quiet time I volunteered to be a person who's ideas were stolen for cheating purposes.
And again I felt clumsy and bungler and never good enough for this society. I was weak kid so I couldn't be any protection for myself. Neither words nor any strong actions could've come from me. So I was an easiest target you can imagine for any kind of bully.
Bad thing happened to my memory here. Bad because I don't want to remember this stuff but I do, I remember every little thing. I remember words, remember those eggs thrown to my schoolbag.............
I was a kid, just a kid so every little thing was huge for me. Every little thing was like a real tragedy for me. Sometimes they were becoming real violent and I was a “training punching bag” but because I didn't punch back – they let me go. I always wanted everybody not see me at all. Like I was invisible or something.
But there was some good in all this: I wasn't likable kid and always hided from people so I didn't have a choice but keep learning stuff. That's why I could do what I did later.